Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Wicked Wednesday - "Underwear Goes Inside the Pants"

This is an old one - but such a good one! It was brought to mind by the recent Occupy/99% movement and I think this video is a witty summary of some of the things that are wrong with our society. Plus, it's just fucking hilarious.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Ten on Tuesday

Short on time this week, so let's keep them short.

1. I'm very happy that we only have one more day of Movember (if you don't know what that is, read this).
 Though I have to admit, this made me giggle.

2. I'm trying to eat better, and was appalled at how much stuff costs at Whole Foods. $8 for a tiny package of Organic Red Quinoa? Are you KIDDING ME? I could nearly buy two Peppermint Mochas for that pricetag!

3. I'm happy to report that not only did I manage to keep a relatively straight face for the whole wedding on Saturday (church service and all - though after seeing me arrive, the groom wandered over to inform me that I didn't need to worry, I wouldn't burst into flames), but I managed to do so in a skirt and nylons. I should get some sort of award for that shit.

4. I have had a headache nearly every day for a week. I'd like to know what the hell is up with that.

5. In spite of myself, I'm starting to get a little warm and fuzzy inside at the idea of Christmas - not because I like the day all that much, but I like the coloured lights, decorations in store windows and prevalence of red.

6. I'm annoyed with the interruption to my TV shows over the last week or so. I'm not sure whether to blame American Thanksgiving or Football, but since I don't participate in either of them, either way I'm pissed.

7. I just got my flu shot. You'd think, since I have diabetes and give myself several shots a day, that I'd be fine with needles. I am not. The ones they use for vaccinations and drawing blood are huge and scary and I don't like blood or the fact that they won't let me give the vaccination to myself. On the plus side this one barely hurt. On the minus side I now feel distinctly flu-ish.

 Actual size. I swear.

 Just to head off any of you who are against the flu shot and want to tell me about the ills of mercury. 
I eat canned tuna. I'm not afraid.

8. *sniff*

9. Started brainstorming for my Christmas shopping. Fortunately my family is small and doesn't care too much about Christmas, so I mainly only have to think of things for three people. It still feels daunting. I feel for the rest of you people with "real" families.

10. I made hot chocolate before going to get my flu shot, and thanks to my insulated travel mug, it's still warm even though I forgot about it. Also, I bought myself a treat for going through with the shot (though of course it doesn't feel worth it now):

  I'm off to blow my nose and feel sorry for myself now. See y'all later.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Fill in the _____ Friday

Sorry it's late! Been a busy few days! But here you go...

  1. Waking up at the break of dawn to go shopping is my idea of... hell.
  2. If I were to go shopping today, I would be on the hunt for... good, tough winter boots. I need one leather pair (preferably waterproof) and Hunter boots - with fleece socks. I'd also be on the hunt for some nice work shirts that hide my tummy, makeup deals, a good book to lose myself in, and possibly a cosy winter sweater.
  3. The best thing I ate yesterday was... salad! No joke.
  4. Something I've been learning lately is... the importance of finding ways to be healthy and make yourself happy. The problem being that the things that make me happy are often unhealthy. Not quite sure where that leaves me.
  5. I cannot start my day without... a shower. I don't drink coffee cos it just makes me jittery, so without a morning shower I am basically not even there.
  6. My nighttime attire consists of... nuthin'. Even in the winter - I get a warmer blanket instead. I can't stand pyjamas and shirts getting tangled around me and trying to strangle me in the night or getting wadded up in uncomfortable ways.
  7. I am looking forward to... Sunday! Sleeping in, maybe going to a movie...
That's all folks! Thanks to Lauren at The Little Things We Do!

    Tuesday, November 22, 2011

    Ten on Tuesday

    Totally forgot about this until just this second, so don't get too excited - this week's ten are a bit of a scramble!

    1. I have to go to a wedding on Saturday. I'd be looking forward to it if jeans were wedding-wear. But I am going to have to dress up, which makes me miserable - and cold. I may need to bring a flask. You know, to stop me feeling the cold.

    2. I am becoming increasingly sure that I was meant to be a modern-day Peter Pan. Adult decisions freak me out.

     Might need to rethink that outfit, though.

    3. I wish there were more hours in the day. I have so much to do at work that I can't get to the things I REALLY want to be doing - like researching social media and learning how to use online tools more effectively. I feel like I'm constantly two steps behind. What I really need is to clone myself, and then clone me could do all the boring stuff and I could do the fun stuff that always gets shoved to the bottom of the pile.

    4. Come to think of it, if I had a clone, she could do all the chores at home too.

     And this!

    5. Last night it was really, really windy and two of our cats got totally freaked out. Apparently. I had ear plugs so I slept through most of it.

    6. It's actually not raining. Or snowing. I feel as if I should spend a bunch of time outdoors today, because this is probably the last time that will happen until June.

    7. I wish Starbucks Peppermint Mochas were both free and healthy. Seriously, I could drink two of them a day and not get sick of them.

    8. I put our winter blanket on the bed on Sunday and it's so fluffy and warm that getting in bed is heaven - but getting up is even more hellish than usual.

     It's kinda like this. Only, you know, tidy, and with sheets and pillow cases.

    9. Winter is making me want to buy flannel pyjamas, fleece socks and cosy sweaters. And wear them 24/7.

    10. I came across this the other day and it is just SO TRUE!
    Click to make bigger. Seriously, no one's eyes are that good.

    That's it for another week! Hopefully some really exciting shit will happen between now and next Tuesday for me to tell y'all about. Only good exciting, not I-fell-on-my-head exciting. Which could happen. I'm that clumsy.

    Friday, November 18, 2011

    Fill in the _____ Friday

    1. A nervous habit I have is...
    not making eye contact, talking too fast, and cracking my knuckles. No, I'm not a poker player.

    2. Something that makes me sad is... animals that aren't properly taken care of. If I were rich I'd rescue every animal I came across that doesn't have anyone to take care of it and subsidize vet bills for people who can't afford to pay for their animals to be given proper medical care. It breaks my heart when people have to put down a pet because they can't afford vet bills. I'd also pay vets to do mobile free clinics for street people who have animals, cos I'm pretty sure they're not getting adequate veterinary care.

    3. Today I am thankful for... my home, my health, my family, my friends and my cats. You know, the usual ;) Oh, also that at this particular point in time it's not raining or snowing.

    4. My favourite room in my house is... probably the bedroom. Mind you, that could just be because this week pretty much all I want to do is go back to bed.

    5. I can't stand... people who make routine grammatical errors. We all make typos, or use the wrong word or punctuation once in awhile. Myself included. But it drives me nuts when people habitually use "your" instead of "you're" or "then" instead of "than." It's not that hard to figure out, people. Here's a cheat sheet for you:
    6. If I had an extra $100 to spend on whatever I wanted today, I would... buy Hunter rain boots. Seriously, I need waterproof footwear that is relatively comfortable and that has some grip on the soles. It snowed last night, and my shoes are nearly wrecked. Also I nearly slipped and fell on my head on the way to work. Twice.

    7. The last person I hung out with was... Well, I'm assuming you mean other than J., since I hang out with him all the time. So I guess it would be one of my co-workers, who is awesome and who accompanied me to MAC on our lunch break yesterday. Never usually go shopping with another person. It was fun.

    That's it for another Friday - have a great weekend, everyone, and try to stay warm and dry! Thanks to Lauren at The Little Things We Do for the blanks, as always!

    Wednesday, November 16, 2011

    Wicked Wednesday - Chase & Status - "Embrace"

    I can't seem to find an official music video for "Embrace," but it's my favourite song at the moment, so close your eyes and have a listen.

    Tuesday, November 15, 2011

    Ten on Tuesday

    Let's dive right in, shall we? 

    1. I am hating on my apartment building right now. Cos I'm not sure whether to hate the Strata or Developer or someone else entirely. Last week they posted something in the elevator saying we had to be home ALL DAY today or tomorrow for fire alarm checks, giving us less than a week to organize time off work. I did it, only to discover that they put up another sign last night canceling said check. With 24 hours notice. Awesome.

    2. I've taken up knitting again, but there's this stitch pattern I really like and want to make a scarf out of that I'm pretty sure is crocheted. So it's looking like I'm going to have to learn a whole new craft. Which could take awhile.

    3. I have come to the conclusion that I will never be on time for work. No matter when I leave the house I am always somewhere between 5 and 10 minutes late. It's like the world (and the transit system) is conspiring against me. 

    4. It's supposed to snow tomorrow. No joke. And I still haven't saved up enough for waterproof footwear. This should be interesting.

    5. So those of you who have been reading awhile will not be surprised to hear that Californication is one of my favourite TV shows. Mostly because of the witty one-liners and downright offensive language.

    Example 1:
    Hell-A Magazine blog number 1. Hank hates you all. A few things I've learned on my travels through this crazy little thing called life. One, a morning of awkwardness is better than a night of loneliness. Two, I probably won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister. And 3, while I'm down there it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I'm not talking about a huge '70s Playboy bush or anything. Just something that reminds me that I'm performing cunnilingus on an adult. 

    Example 2:
    [looking in bathroom mirror] Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you fucking douche. 

    Example 3:
    How the fuck do you option a blog? What is there to option? The title? The font?

    I could go on, but in case you don't enjoy Californication as much as I do, or in case you DO enjoy it as much as I do but want there to be something you haven't heard when you watch it, I'll stop now. Anyway, I was in Chapters the other day and I discovered this, which is the book written by Hank Moody, the fictional star of Californication. Intriguing. Will read and report back.

    6. I'm on a new budget, and already I've fallen off the wagon. Twice. Oops.

    7. I'm going through one of my healthy(ish) eating phases that involves salads for lunch. Mainly because I discovered that if you add cranberries, quinoa, mandarin orange chunks and sharp cheddar you barely notice that you're eating vegetables. Don't worry, it won't last.

    8. I'm starting to look forward to Christmas. Not because of Christmas, but because I've saved up some days off and am really looking forward to spending a whole week sleeping in and not doing anything I don't want to do. It's going to be awesome.

    9.  I stumbled across a blog the other day that made me think about how different some people's lives are from my own. I mean, I know this, of course. But sometimes I'll read or see something that really underlines it. In this case, I began thinking about what it would be like to have a lot of money and work in a profession that is completely concerned with appearance. On the one hand you'd get to live in a house with a pool and drive a nice car and spend $3,000 on one piece of clothing. But on the other hand you'd have to get surgery when there's nothing actually wrong with you, and spend an inordinate amount of time and energy worrying about what you eat and weigh. I wonder if that's a better life than my broke-ass one. Somehow I doubt it. Mine comes with chocolate.

    10. Let's end on a funny note:

    Thanks for stopping by and spending a few minutes with me!

    Sunday, November 13, 2011

    Fill in the _____ Friday

    It's a couple of days late this week - sorry guys! We had Friday off for Remembrance Day here in Canada, and to be totally honest the change in routine made me forget to Fill in the Blanks. I know, BAD BLOGGER! My bad. Here you go!

    1. My favourite new blog of the moment is... Kove's blog - mainly because of all the pretty pictures!
    2. Something I am thankful for is... that in this moment I'm healthy. I've had some mysterious problems with controlling my diabetes of late, which is freaking me out a bit. But right now I don't have a headache, I don't have any weird aches and pains and I don't feel so cranky that I want to bite the heads off things. Yeah, living with me is fun.
    3. Something that made me laugh this week was... 

    4. An item that is currently on my wish list is... Hunter rain boots, a Lulu Lemon infinity scarf, a haircut, MAC's Seasonally Spicy eyeliner, new leather boots and some sort of e-book reader. Yeah, I know it was supposed to be one thing, but I got on a roll.
    5. I am excited about... knitting again! I'm finding it to be seasonally appropriate and oddly comforting.
    6. If I were a colour I would be... a really rich fuschia-tinged burgundy. Or lime green.
    7. My favourite way to spend a chilly fall day is... wrapped up in a cosy blanket in front of a fireplace reading or watching a movie and knitting. Speaking of which... see ya later!

    As always, thanks to Lauren at The Little Things We Do for the blanks!

    Tuesday, November 8, 2011

    Ten on Tuesday

    I apologize in advance for this week's 10 - you'll see what I mean. On the plus side, if you do stick with me to the end, I've included a couple of funnies to make it up to you!

    1. I am not excited for Movember. For those of you who don't know, Movember is a yearly event intended to raise funds for and awareness of men's health issues - particularly prostate cancer. Men are supposed to register online at the beginning of the month and get people to sponsor their moustache-growing efforts, which culminates (in theory) in a masterful facial testament to testosterone by the end of the month. But it seems to me that a lot of guys just do it as an excuse to experiment with facial hair and don't even know what it's all about (I'm also willing to bet a month of beer that they have never submitted themselves to a prostate exam).

    While I'm all for raising awareness of men's health issues - hell, I'm in favour of raising awareness of ANY health issues - I have to say, I hate moustaches. I have rarely seen one I don't find creepy, and I dread Movember. Nonetheless, if you're a guy and you want to find out more (or if you're a girl and your opinion of moustaches diverges from my own), go here to find out what started the whole fiasco and what it's REALLY supposed to be about (warning: contains lots of creepy facial hair: visit at your own risk!).

    2. I decided to start knitting again this weekend. Unfortunately, I failed to seal a couple of yarn projects in ziploc bags before I put them in the closet for the summer, and the moths got to them. We've been plagued by the little fuckers since moving to our new place (three years ago) and nothing I do gets rid of them, since I can't use toxic chemicals that would also take out our cats (who, incidentally, are completely USELESS when it comes to culling the moths. They just sit there and watch them. I think we've spoiled their natural murderous instincts with canned food). Fortunately they only chewed through the yarn in a couple of places, so after a thorough washing it's as good as new. But I hate moths just that little bit more.

    3. Thanks to daylight savings time, it is now light by the time I leave for work in the morning, thus allowing me to more accurately gauge my outerwear needs for the day. Unfortunately, this means it gets dark ridiculously early. I think we should just change the clocks half an hour next time, split the difference, and stick with it. I mean really, what's the point in all this back and forth?

    4. I have developed a fascination with sharing random funny stuff on Facebook. Like this gem:

     Totally what I'd say if you reversed time and put me back in high school math again, knowing what I do now about the world. 

    5. I finally got around to tidying my desk at work last week, and fuck was it terrifying! Don't worry, I didn't find any previously undiscovered life forms, but I did end up with a huge stack of paper that had to go in the recyling bin. Am now trying not to print things. It's ridiculous.

     It wasn't quite this bad, but nearly.

    6. Am increasingly depressed by my financial situation. I swear someone sneaks into my bank account and takes money when I'm not looking. The fact that that person is me is even more depressing. I'm actually considering trying to find a Saturday retail job over the Christmas season on top of my regular full-time job to earn a bit of extra money. And I HATE retail.

    7. I'm glad that most stores have now sold out of Halloween candy. There has been so much of it in our office that I swear I gained 10 pounds in a week. And I didn't even go trick-or-treating.

    8.  Most of the time I do the basics to take care of my health condition and then don't think about it. But lately it's been harder to manage and as a result I feel physically and emotionally crappy a lot of the time. Realizing I need to make some lifestyle changes, which is horrible because it's coming up on Christmas and who wants to be more healthy at this time of year??

    Forget the treadmill, I want a T-Rex for Christmas!

    9. Normally when I'm depressed I go to Starbucks and get a peppermint mocha. But unfortunately between my financial situation, my need to cut down on my sugar consumption and the fact that it's raining all week and I can't afford new waterproof boots, I can't. Hoping that I'll soon discover a free and healthy replacement. But given how much I love peppermint mochas, I'm not going to hold my breath.

    10. I'm aware that this week's 10 have been a little (okay a lot) on the doom and gloom side. I feel that it's my duty to try and even it out. Here are a couple of things that made me giggle and will hopefully do the same for you!

     I'm pretty sure my cats would be surprised as well.

    That's totally the rule, right? 

    See ya.

    Thanks for sticking with me, despite my less-than-cheerful Tuesday. I promise to try and get more optimistic by next week.

    Monday, November 7, 2011

    Mopey Monday - Shit I Found on the Internet

    The clocks changed yesterday, so I, silly girl that I am, got all excited thinking "I can trick my evil internal clock and make it go to bed a WHOLE HOUR EARLY and be one of those freaky morning people who don't growl at anyone who comes within ten feet of them on Monday!" I suppose my inner voice tempted fate, because rather than a restful slumber, 1am found me groaning and hoping that the Gravol would kick in soon. Not sure if it was a minor stomach bug or something I ate, but grumbly belly kept me up half the night. Fortunately I managed not to throw up, but every time I was starting to drift off to sleep I'd be woken up thinking I was going to.

    So, of course, here I am, my usual Monday-morning self. That is to say, cranky, tired, and really missing my pyjamas.

    On the plus side, I spent my extra hour on the weekend finding funny stuff on the internet. Here are a couple things that might make your Monday marginally better (sorry they're not linked - I looked at so many random sites that led to so many other random sites that I can't remember where I got them from!):

    Is it just me, or does building a fort actually sound really fun?

     Even if you're all cynical (like me) you gotta at least try to look on the bright side from time to time. Right?

     It is. It really is.

     For starters, it'll make you smile like this guy.

     Great, now I'm scared of badgers as well as zombies.

    Well, hopefully that cheered up yet another mopey Monday for y'all. On the plus side, if you're Canadian, it's a short week. We get Friday off to remember..... uh..... stuff. (Just kidding, I know what it's for. Really, I do.) If you're not Canadian, I have no silver lining for you. Except that you can be really, really happy for us. You're welcome.

    Friday, November 4, 2011

    Fill in the _____ Friday

    It's a particularly quiet, chilly Friday around here. Today was the first day cold enough that I could see my breath and not feel my nose. Apparently it's not winter until December... but really, folks, it's winter.

    1. My favourite thing about this weekend is/was... well since the upcoming weekend hasn't started yet, I'll use last weekend instead. Went to a friend's bachelor party on Friday night, which (what I remember, anyway) was really fun. Only just starting to feel not-hungover, though.
    2. Cold weather makes me... avoid going outside. I realized today that I don't like really hot weather, I don't like really cold weather, and I don't like rain. Is there even anywhere in the world that has a climate I'd enjoy?? I'm starting to doubt it. 
    3. Three things that make me terribly happy as of late are... my blog (comments! Yay!), my boyfriend and... what else starts with "B"? Books? BEER! Definitely beer.
    4. If I could only wear one kind of shoe for the rest of my life, I'd choose... skateboard shoes. 
    5. My personality type is... I can't remember the letters I got in that weird test thing, but I'd classify myself as an extroverted introvert. I like socializing, but only when I'm in the mood, and I will need time to recharge afterwards. But when I'm feeling social, I'm really social.
    6. I have a serious problem resisting... Starbucks. My favourite drink (peppermint mocha, for those of you who haven't read the five or ten posts in which I mention them) is now back in season, plus they have those cheerful red cups...
    7. My favourite colour to wear is... well, black and grey, probably. But I like rich, luscious colours as accents, like a fuchsia pink lipstick or a teal scarf or a lime green pattern on a shirt... that sort of thing.
    That's it for another Friday! Hope you all have a fantastic weekend, and don't forget to stop by The Little Things We Do to join in the blanks!

    Wednesday, November 2, 2011

    Wicked Wednesday - Jimmy Kimmel's Halloween Candy Stunt

    Some of you may have already seen this, but for those who haven't...

    Jimmy Kimmel asked parents to trick their kids by telling them that they had eaten all their Halloween candy, tape their kids' reactions, and send in the videos to him. Some of their reactions are just hilarious!

    Tuesday, November 1, 2011

    Ten on Tuesday

    Tried to get this ready ahead of time this week. The operative word being "try."

    1. As a follow up to #5 on last week's Ten on Tuesday post, let me tell a little story. A cautionary tale, if you will. About two years ago, I had back surgery. It sucked, so I won't go into the details. Let's just say that for a couple of months afterwards I was on varying amounts of paranoia-inducing opiates and stuck at home with the attention span of a barfly and nothing to do other than watch TV. So what did I, in my infinite wisdom, choose to do? I watched every single episode of Criminal Minds ever made. In the course of less than two months. Now I have an "active" imagination (read: imagines crazy scenarios and is positive they are going to happen) at the best of times. Due to the painkillers, this was not the best of times. By the end of the CM marthon I was checking closets after J. left for work in the morning and showering with my eyes open lest I be attacked by an opportunistic psycho. If you knew how much shampoo ended up in my eyes, you'd understand the level of my paranoia. The moral of the story is: don't mix opiates and violent TV in large quantities, and always check the closets. Just in case.

    2. It is officially hot chocolate weather. I am sitting here bundled up in my Uggs, sweater and wool scarf with hot chocolate and my little portable heater on... and I'm still freezing my ass off! Time to start dreaming of spring.

    3. I love animals. People who are cruel to animals do not deserve to live. So of course, I signed up to support PETA (yes, I know, there's a lot of controversy, they're not the saints they claim to be, etc. etc. But they're doing something to raise awareness and support animal rights, so that's good enough for me). The problem is that after I unsuspectingly opened a letter with pictures of... well I can't even describe the pictures because they're too upsetting... I can't handle reading anything they send me, no matter how much I care about and want to support their cause. It's a bit of a predicament. They need to have options when you sign up. "Disturbing imagery forces me to act - please send me all your horrific images" or "I'm an emotional person and photos of abused animals reduce me to a blubbering wreck for days - please send me PG versions of your appeals so I can still open your mail."

    4. Ugg boots may be Ugg-ly (oh, sometimes I do crack myself up), but they are like heaven for my feet. The problem is that where I live, we have about two days out of the year when it's cold enough to wear them, but not raining cats and dogs. Which means I can pretty much only wear them as house slippers. A fact I inconveniently forgot when leaving the house this morning, and I have been a prisoner in my office because I can't venture outside in my inappropriate footwear. *Sigh*

    5. You can read the full account here, but I just needed to mention how AMAZING the Foo Fighters are in concert! Not trying to make you jealous (okay, maybe a little bit), I just had THAT much fun!

    This is the actual finish from the Vancouver show.
    6. The Misfits started again this Sunday. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's a British show about a bunch of young offenders who get caught up in a magical storm and develop super powers. Yeah, when I put it that way it just sounds weird, or like some rip off of Heroes. But it's SO much better. Each character is very different, and at first they have nothing in common. But after a set of extreme circumstances, they develop unlikely friendships and, over time, end up looking out for each other. It's very well written, has some really interesting and unique story lines, and is fucking funny. If you're easily offended, this is not the show for you. If you like irreverent humour (sometimes straight up nasty) and sarcasm, watch it immediately. If not sooner.

    I don't think there are any major spoilers in here, but it will give away the occasional minor plot detail. You've been warned!

    7. J. got in a car accident last week. He's fine, but it's been really stressful, and considering it was his first week at a new job, it was the last thing he needed. He's an excellent driver (best I've ever been in a car with) and has gone over 16 years without a single proper accident. We've just found out his car is a write-off, which sucks, because now he'll have to spend some of his own money to replace it since there's no way he'll be able to get an equivalent vehicle for whatever the insurance company gives him. Mostly, though, I'm just glad he's okay.

    8. I'm pretty sure my office plant has committed suicide. Ah well, it lasted an admirably long time. Most of them decide to off themselves pretty much the moment I bring them back from the shop.
    9. After Friday night's bachelor party, I'm pretty sure I'm still hungover. And that my liver will never be the same again.

    10. This post is late because today has been a really busy one and I didn't have time to take a lunch break to finish it. I'm tired. I'm grumpy. I'm cold. My head hurts. And I'm pretty sure that if I eat any more leftover Halloween chocolate my brain will explode, but since I don't drink coffee, it's all that's keeping my head from hitting the keyboard.

    That's it for another week. Now go away and stop bothering me. Hmph.
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