Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Random Thursday Confessional: Tell A Secret...

I'm back! Though I gotta admit, it was hit or miss there for awhile. There was talk of opening up a shrimp truck and never leaving the beach. And I don't even like shrimp.

On the up side (you know, other than the fact that I did return so y'all can heave a gigantic sigh of relief that your life isn't going to be M-less), it's time for Random Thursday with Lin, Meg and I! This week's topic is another head scratcher, I tells ya.

Oh lordy. I have no idea where to start with this one. Kinda tempted to procrastinate and see what you guys all go with! But I won't, 'cos I take hosting seriously. So here ya go.

The Serious:
I don't talk about this stuff much on my blog, because it's my refuge and somewhere I go to have fun. But given this week's topic, I'm taking a deep breath and sharing. I have struggled with self esteem and depression most of my life since adolescence. I've even considered medication from time to time - though I haven't gone down that road (yet, anyway). Some days it's a struggle to see the point in going to work or expending the energy to do... well, anything. I do it, I always pull it together, but it's not always easy. And I tend to worry all. the. time. I'm slowly coming to terms with the things I can't control and learning to focus on the good things that are constant in my life. But I don't think I'll ever be a "happy" person.
I don't know if it's bad brain chemistry, a rough childhood or something I could control (which is my ultimate fear - that I'm failing somehow and doing this to myself), but whatever the cause, I often have to actually sit down and list all the good things in my life and force myself to think about them. It's exhausting, and some days I just don't have the energy. I know I'm not the only one, though, and that helps. I have some amazing friends who surmount similar (and much harder) obstacles every day, and reading The Bloggess always helps. That woman is an inspiration. So anyway... on to lighter (and even more embarrassing) topics...

**Update: I decided, after linking it in this post, to spend some time catching up on the wonderful world of The Bloggess. Coincidentally, her most recent post is about depression. And she links to a friend's blog, which is both hilarious and right on the money. So if you're in the same boat - or just curious - go check them both out.

The Amusing:
  • I can't handle movies that involve an animal getting hurt. I am fine with grisly murders and psychopathic killers... but throw a sick puppy in the mix and I'm a wreck for days. When I was a kid my mother had to take me out of the theatre during Bambi because I was wailing so loudly when the mother got shot. Not much has changed. I refused to read Charlotte's Web as a kid, and I won't ever watch Old Yeller or Marley and Me. EVER.
  • I sometimes enjoy embarrassing entertainment. I'm talkin' teen fiction (yes, I have read the Twilight books) and Awkward. I know they're terrible, and I feel the shame... but I keep on reading/watching anyway. I blame University - I developed a nasty habit of reading the most mind-rotting, terrible, asinine books at the end of every rough semester to give my brain a rest. This is how I ended up reading (or rather, skimming - which is how I got through all 4 in a week) the Twilight books, along with the Shopaholic series. I honestly can't decide which was worse.
Will that do? I hope so, cos anything more embarrassing than that and I'd have to kill you! Alright, now it's your turn. DISH.


  1. Do you want to write my posts for me from now on? I totally agree on everything you said, I feel the same way.
    I have struggles to be happy either, I worry way too much and I often feel really depressed. I don't show it a whole lot but it is inside me.
    I can watch the bloodiest horror movies but as soon as I see a dog with a runny nose I start to cry. I watched Bambi one time in my life and it was so horrible that I never watched it again. I refused to watch the end of Marley and Me.
    I love Awkward! Can't get enough of that show. And I have read the Twilight books in German and English. Twice.
    :) Have a lovely Thursday!

    1. I totally would... except I love reading your posts too much!! I thought you'd be with me on the animals thing. And I feel better knowing I'm not alone in my terrible taste in fiction and entertainment! :)

  2. I love your sometimes depressed-animal loving-teen fiction reading ass! As shitty as depression can be, those ladies have a way of bringing out the funny in them. Straight up talent.

    1. Right? Love those blogs. Also thank you. I'm less depressed since you came along, for reals!

  3. I can't handle an animal getting hurt in a movie either!!!! I'll bawl right through it.

    1. I recently discovered that it's not just animals getting hurt... a heartwarming animal story will have the same effect. I'm just a big softie on the inside!


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