Zombie Slippers Will Cost Ya

Completely epic plush zombie slippers that are currently giving me stress-cancer.

I am MAD about something. And it's how much it costs to order shit over the internet. Instead of just sitting back, swallowing all my anger, and giving myself cancer, I decided to share my frustration with you lucky readers. Here's the whole story (in email form, because this is what I sent to Thinkgeek, where I ordered the offending items):

Hi there,

I recently placed an order on your website for a $20 pair of zombie slippers. Great deal, I thought. Then I went to checkout. Apparently, since I live in Canada, and your shipping method is courier, the shipping cost is exorbitant. And also because I live in Canada, adding extra things to the order to get free shipping wasn't an option. In the end it cost more than the item just for shipping. I wasn't very happy, but decided to suck it up because they're a present.

I just got a call from the courier you use regarding the buzzer for my building, but when I was talking to them, they also mentioned that now there's an extra $17 customs charge for the item. So now I'm faced with the really irritating conundrum of either refusing delivery and sending them back to you, and I'm sure that I'll still be out the $25 I paid for your courier delivery service, or pay an additional charge that is almost as much as the item I ordered, making a $20 pair of slippers into a $62 pair of slippers. My reaction? Are you freakin' KIDDING ME??

Now, I know that you guys don't control customs. I have no idea why customs charged me $17 to allow a pair of plush zombie slippers entry into Canada. It seems silly to me, however not your fault. But on top of the already steep shipping cost, and with it not even having occurred to me that customs might bill me for such a ridiculous item, I'm left feeling completely ripped off.

I'm writing you this because I thought it might be valuable to you to know how your international customers feel when ordering from you. I'm writing because maybe, if you get enough people sharing frustrating experiences, you'll consider offering cheaper international shipping options for your customers (I really don't need my zombie slippers to arrive overnight, I'm good with waiting a week or two, thanks).

As it is, regretfully, I simply won't be able to afford to order anything from your company again, despite my desire to gift fun-loving friends with zombie paraphernalia. So your shipping choices have lost you a customer, plus the several friends I had raved about your products to who I will now rant about this horrid experience to. Some of whom, I'm sure, would have very much enjoyed a pair of plush zombie slippers of their very own.

With much annoyance,

M.

I'll let you know what they say. But I'm guessing it won't be "our bad, here's a gratis pair of matching plush zombie slippers."

Wicked Wednesday: Fifty Shades of Grey Spoof

This week's Wicked Wednesday is just something I found incredibly amusing. As you all know by now, I have been reading Fifty Shades of Grey (I'm trying to finish it, but as much as I want to know what happens and be done with it, I can't read very much at once without it making me homicidal) and finding it to be pretty torturous. And not in that fun way. So you can imagine my amusement when I stumbled across this on Better Book Titles:

Also, considering that it began as Twilight FanFic, I'll throw this one in as a bonus:

Hopefully you got as much of a kick out of these as I did - click on either image to head over to Better Book Titles and browse the rest! Want to shares something wicked that's got you all excited? Link up below!

Ten on Tuesday

1. Worst. Headache. EVER.

2. I also may have carpal tunnel (sp?) because my wrist and thumb have been aching for days. Apparently typing makes it worse, so I hope you guys appreciate it.

3. Chapters has a 4 for 3 book and magazine sale goin' on, so if you're in Canada and love book shopping, now's a good time.

4. I spent a good chunk of time on the weekend cleaning the house - I even mopped the kitchen floor. I now remember why I don't do that.

5. Lin from Linny's Vault sent me this awesome bag for my birthday, along with this substitute for birthday cake. Totally made my week!

 I do. I really do.

 *Nom nom nom*

6. We've reverted from hot, sunny shorts weather on the weekend to rain boots and umbrellas. It's like we're back in February, and I'm not impressed. Quit messing with me! Pick a season and stick with it, already!

7. Nothing in the world beats drinking a Corona with a wedge of lime in the sunshine. Nothing.

8. I've really been digging working on my book blog, Backlist Books, lately. I even set up a twitter account for it (@backlist_books) and everything! It's always hard to tell if these spurts of excitement and motivation will last, but for now I'm rolling with it. Very excited to be reading again and looking forward to my stack of summer reading!

9. While setting up my Backlist Books Twitter account, I started following a bunch of book-related tweeters. One of them referred to a blog post about something called "hate-reading." I realized this is exactly what is keeping me going with Fifty Shades of Grey. I actually enjoy the satisfaction of it being even worse than I expected. Perversely, though it gets worse and worse, I do want to know what happens. What's the term for that?

10. Funny:

 This is pretty  much how my week is going so far.

 Oh, god, yes.

 Yes.

 If I ever had kids...

That's it for another week! Have a Corona for me. *cheers*

Fill in the _____ Friday

1. The best surprise ever would be... if money were no object, I'd really like a yacht.
2. Walking around in Chicago or London ...is my most favourite memory. Maybe. Didn't we have this question last week? And didn't I point out how ridiculous it is to have to pick just ONE favourite memory? I stick by that.
3. The hardest but most worthwhile thing I've ever done was... again with the one big thing? Cos life's TOTALLY like that. I guess the hardest and most worthwhile thing I've ever done was managing to make it through my childhood, get out on my own the day after graduation and keep going through all the shit life has thrown my way. It's not one big thing, but I guess life is pretty worthwhile.
4. The best part of my day is... opening the door when I get home.
5. Something I like that most people don't is...salt on EVERYTHING. Without even tasting it first.
6. Something I am willing to fight for is... the people I care about. To the death.
7. Something that you might not know about me is...that I haven't had a haircut in a year. It's long. It's growing. What's the point?

 Want to join in the fun? Head over to The Little Things We Do and link up!

Wicked Wednesday: Best Birthday Presents EVER.

This week's Wicked Wednesday is a little more personal than usual.

For my birthday, a bunch of my colleagues put their heads together and came up with some awesome presents. Not only did I get the paperback edition of one of my all-time favourite books by one of my all-time favourite street artists, but I got a gift card to a quirky little coffe shop, rapid dry nail polish top coat, CRAP post-its and, last but not least, dead guy sticky notes.

Ceci also made me the most wonderful lemon bars I've ever tasted, completely from scratch. That's right, she even squeezed fresh lemons. Am I spoiled or what?

What's got you excited, happy, intrigued or infuriated this week? Write your own Wicked Wednesday and link up below!

Ten on Tuesday

1. I survived the birthday. And actually managed to have some fun!

2. I got a free Starbucks drink on my birthday, but in typical scatterbrain fashion, I put it down on the counter in another store and forgot it there. Without taking a single sip. On the plus side, Chris, one of my co-workers, bought me a birthday peppermint mocha this morning - so that totally made up for it! Delicious.

3. Went to see Dark Shadows. Meh. It's Tim Burton, so the imagery was predictably appealing, and there were some absolutely hilarious moments... but overall I feel like it's a wait for the DVD film.

4. Despite the extra day off (maybe because of it?) I have been tired and cranky all day today.

5. I got this from J. for my birthday, and am very excited, seeing as The Bloggess is one of my favourite all-time funny destinations on the web:

6. Speaking of summer reading, I finally started 50 Shades of Grey this weekend. So far my main reaction is wanting to slap someone every time Ana blushes or Christian's eyes are clouded and unreadable or whatever. Considering how much those two things are repeated, that's a lot of slapping. And we're not talking the fun kind.

7. One of my favourite new shows of 2011, Missing, has been cancelled. *sniff*

8. If you have never had cinnamon french toast with strawberries and whipped cream, you haven't lived.

9. I'm pleased to report that it's Corona weather! Woohoo!

10. And because I know you all rely on me to make you giggle inappropriately and/or snort various beverages out your nose:

That is all.

It's My Birthday and I'll Swear if I Want To

Today's my birthday. I'm not overly thrilled by this - getting older hasn't had the same draw since turning 19 and being able to drink (legally). However, since it is my bithday, I will be taking advantage of any silver linings there are to be found.

For example, I slept in. Because it's my birthday. I also ate the world's biggest plate of french toast WITH whipped cream AND syrup. Because it's my birthday. And now, since my belly is so full, I am putting my pyjamas back on and watching TV. Which I'm allowed to do, because it's my birthday.

Happy birthday to me! (And you, if you're lucky enuough to share my "special day.")

Fill in the _____ Friday

1. Something that is very near and dear to my heart is... my family. The one I made, that includes J., my cats and my close friends.
2. Friday...is good cause to celebrate.
3.  The most fun I ever had was... hmmm. That's a tough one. I don't really have like ONE big happy memory.Had a lot of fun wandering around in different cities on my own - Chicago and London in particular. Also really love getting a new tattoo or piercing (which I also did while wandering around Chicago)... it's a toss up.
4. True friends are... hard to find, but totally worth the search. It's interesting, I've had some really painful experiences with friends I thought were of the true variety. I used to have notions about what true friendships were supposed to look like, but I've learned over the years that the ones that fit the mold aren't usually the real thing. I've discovered that it doesn't matter how often you talk to someone or see them - it's how you feel when you do that makes it real.
5. Something that makes me terribly happy is... THREE DAY WEEKEND, BITCHES!
6. A good way to spend a sunny day is... wandering around Granville island, eating ice cream and checking out the funky shops.
7. My favourite celebratory food is... does a shot of tequila count?

Thanks to The Little Things We Do for the blanks!

Ten on Tuesday

1. I actually tidied my desk AND my computer files. I know, you're in shock. It's okay, so am I.

2. Despite the tidying (or possibly because of it) I still can't find anything.

3. It has been a heat wave in Vancouver the last few days. It went from gumboots with fleece socks weather to shorts and a t-shirt weather in the last week. Though I love bright weather, I'm not big on heat, and if it's this hot early on.... I'm a little nervous about the temperatures we're going to experience later in the summer.

4. My birthday is coming up. I don't even remember what it was like to be young and excited about getting older. These days it pretty much just makes me want to crawl under a rock with a case of beer.

5. I've recently discovered TweetDeck. I may actually use Twitter more now. Though probably not because I have trouble keeping my thoughts to 140 characters or less.

6. I can't think of anything I really want for my birthday. Of course as soon as it's over, I'll be FULL of ideas.

7. I'm very excited to go to this on the weekend:

8. Knowing I have a long weekend coming up is making this week last forever. And it's only Tuesday.

9. I haven't had a haircut in a year. I think it's time.

10. And just because it's awesome:

Fill in the _____ Friday

1. On a scale from 1-10, the frequency with which I get sick is... probably 4 or 5, I guess. But when I get sick I tend to get two different illnesses back to back and be sick for at least a week.
2. The last time I felt sick was... Wednesday, but that was just side effects from some medication. All better now. Unless of course you mean heartsick at the state of the world, in which case that's, like, all the time. (I guess it doesn't come across in a blog post, but I was immitating those college kids who get all pseudo philosophical and go on for hours about humanity and Freud. Or Jung. Whoever.)
3. The worst part about being sick is... being sick... because... it sucks.
4. When I am sick I like to be taken care of by... depends how sick. Anywhere from my cats to the emergency room staff.
5. Something I do to keep myself healthy is... I'm trying to cut out as much sugar and simple carbs as I can and eat more salads, grains, protein and fruit. Hence the dearth of mini pies. It's really depressing so far.
6. A secret remedy that I use when I'm sick is... it's not exactly secret, but NeoCitran usually does the trick if it's a regular flu.
7. One thing that always makes me feel better when I'm sick is... pyjamas, warm blanket, hot beverage and some truly, truly terrible TV.

Thanks to Lauren at The Little Things We Do for the blanks! Head over and link up!

Ten on Tuesday

1. I'm still feeling sad about the passing of MCA.

2. I wish I'd been a more organized employee over the past year, because now my files are in such disarray that I don't even know where to start reorganizing.

3. Ditto for the rest of my disorganized life.

4. I have (sadly) given up Starbucks' mini pies. *sniff*

5. I am no longer in last place in my work hockey pool! Granted I'm not exactly winning, either - but it's progress!

6. Have you seen this? If not, stop what you're doing, locate your nearest movie theatre, and get in line now. I don't care if it's 7AM and the next show isn't until 7PM. Go. Now.

7. I don't know if it's the fact that I've been eating less sugar or that it's spring, but I can't seem to get enough strawberries and green grapes. Delicious.

8. It's been ages since I finished reading the Hunger Games, and I still haven't really gotten into another book. I tried a few, including Fifty Shades of Grey that everyone's got their panties in a bunch over or because of, but nothing has grabbed my interest. Suggestions?

9. It has been sunny all week. I feel like I'm in bizzarro Canada.

10. Just for laughs:

That's all, folks!

Fill in the _____ Friday

1.  My bedtime routine includes... giving the cat his medicine, giving myself my medicine, turning off lights, washing my face, getting a glass of water for my bedside table, turning off my computer, plugging in my cell phone and iPod, and reading in bed (if it's isn't too ridiculously late...).
2. I am... a bit stressed, to be honest with ya. Buying a place is an exciting step, but it has led to all sorts of weird and unpredictable emotions. Not least of which being apprehension at the idea of packing and moving. Last time I did that I messed up my back so badly that I landed in the emergency room 6 months later in need of surgery. Not looking forward to the whole process.
3. I can't stand... cooked mushrooms... because... they're squelchy. *shudder*
4. My idea of relaxation would be... going away somewhere warm, but not too hot, where I can sit somewhere peaceful and beautiful and let the sound of the ocean or the wind in the trees wash over me while reading a book, sipping a cold drink and, yes, probably napping.
5. If I had an extra $50, I would... I'd like to say I'd save it, but I'd probably buy more books.
6. The best thing about a bloggy friend is... as I've recently discovered, making a friend through blogging is pretty amazing. Of course, I'm talking about Lin, who has quickly become one of my favourite people - despite the fact that we've never actually met.
7. A recipe I've been dying to try is... Bread. Cheese. Melt. Add ketchup. Done. Yeah, I'm not a big cook.

 As always, thanks to Lauren at The Little Things We Do for the blanks - head on over and check her out!

"Favourite Things" Blog Swap

So you'll all remember me mentioning the pure AWESOMENESS that is Lin from Linny's Vault. Well not only does she bring fun and giggles to the world of me on a weekly (if not daily) basis, but she also hosted this great blog swap - and I was lucky enough to be paired up with her! Her package arrived last week and man, do I feel spoiled! (Also sorry for the delay in posting - I couldn't find my camera charger so I couldn't get the photos out of my camera!)

The theme of the swap was "favourite things" - so we got to assemble a package with some of the little things in life that make us smile. Or get fatter. Or both. Lin sent me  a huge box full of all sorts of amazing stuff - some I'm familiar with, some I've never seen before.

Check it out:

My cat, Hera, decided to inspect the package. I'd like to think she was 

making sure there wasn't a bomb in it, but I suspect she just 

wanted to see if there were any cat treats.

 Yummy treats, an awesome two-layered cup so it won't leave water rings - 

and some silly putty from Rusty. Because he's awesome.

She even wrapped stuff - with ribbon! 

Here's everything - snacks, apricot face scrub, lip balm, moisturizer, an awesome 

striped tank top and bright socks, hand sanitizer (hello, my name is M, and I'm 

a germaphobe), hilarious movie, funky post-its, a beautiful notebook - and a 

Starbucks card! The lady knows me well...

This was the contents of the super cute makeup bag. I LOVE the nail polish colour, 

and the swallow earrings are so adorable! 

Needless to say, I was completely blown away, and am really excited to try the yummy treats! Head on over to her blog to check out some of the other swaps!

Thanks, Lin! :)

RIP MCA

Sad news - today hip hop lost one of its brightest stars. Adam Yauch (better known as MCA) of the Beastie Boys passed away at the age of 47. He has been fighting cancer since 2009.

I find myself feeling both sad and nostalgic. It is perhaps no coincidence that I feel like the music of the Beastie Boys has been around in the back and foreground for most of my life, considering that MCA first took the stage with the Beastie Boys (then a punk group) in the year I was born. Not only has his music and showmanship provided hours of entertainment, but he used his celebrity to support causes he believed in - most notably as an organizer of the Tibetan Freedom concerts.

The Beastie Boys' newest (and final) album as a trio was released  yesterday. Here's an awesome video for the first single, featuring a whole slew of really famous people:

RIP, MCA. You will be missed.

Ten on Tuesday

1. I'm feeling very much like I could use some time off. Everything lately feels like a chore, and I don't want to do any of it. Just waiting for that lottery to come through...

2. I finally tidied my desk at work a bit. It still looks cluttered, but at least now I know what most of the clutter is. (Except my paper inbox. I'll deal with that... you know.... never.)

3. I got my Favourite Things swap package from Lin last week! I've even started writing my blog post about it. I'm hoping to find the charger for my camera battery tonight so that I can retrieve the photos I took that are currently being held hostage - then I'll be able to share with you guys the awesomeness that is Lin!

4. I spent a lot of time yesterday trying to get inspiration for a blog I'm running at work. So I came across some interesting YouTube videos. This one was my favourite:

5. One of the ladies I work with just told us that she's leaving for another job - which is great news for her! It has also made be start thinking about what I want next out of my career. As much as I love the people I work with (most of the time, anyway), I can't say I'm entirely happy. The problem is that I have no idea what I want to do with my life - just a vague concept that reviewing books or writing for an online blog or magazine might be nice - and therefore no idea how to get from where I am to where I want to be. Sometimes I wish being a grown up involved less big decisions and self-starting.

6. I am losing my hockey pool at work. *sad face*

7. I have embarked on a mission to eat healthier food - mainly because I went to the eye doctor and got some serious answers to some serious questions about diabetes and blindness. I love reading and watching TV (and, you know, not bumping into stuff when I walk around town) so much that I am inspired to try and do a better job of controlling my blood sugars. I don't know if it will last, however I DID turn down ice cream cake today. I know, I have an iron will. Admit it, you're all impressed.

8. I intensely dislike my daily commute. One of the perks of moving is that I will get an entirely different horrible commute to look forward to. Here's hoping it has less pokey umbrellas and elbows and better views.

9. This:

10. I can't think of anything else, so fuck off now please.